You might have heard about the power of affirmations… But have you ever really thought about how can affirmations help you to live a better life?
Positive affirmations allegedly make you successful, healthier, smarter, and happier. But, do affirmations really help?
What are affirmations and how should they be used?
Positive affirmations are simple sentences that people use to describe what people want or how they want their circumstances to be. Positive affirmations declare that which you want to already be true, or at least on its way to becoming true.
What are some examples of affirmations?
- I am blessed.
- I create happiness.
- I love myself
- I can do anything.
- I am attractive.
- I attract money.
- I am abundant.
- I am enough.
Let’s face it: the idea of positive affirmation is tempting!
Let’s say you want to be a little more confident. Because hey, a bit more self-esteem doesn’t hurt, right? Supposedly, you can become more confident by regularly saying with conviction: I’m bursting with self-confidence!
Positive affirmations are often proclaimed as a “magic pill.” No matter your wish, it is “all” you need if you talk yourself into it often enough.
But like most “magic pills,” this one has a catch.
How can affirmations help you to live a better life
Why, accoding to modern psychology, positive affirmations won’t always work on everyone?
It seems that positive affirmations only work for people who already have a strong dose of self-esteem or confidence. That is, ironically, this only seems to work for people who don’t need affirmations.
So if you believe that you are great and amazing, then positive affirmations continue to have positive effects.
On the other hand, if you are somewhat insecure or suffer from low self-esteem, positive affirmations will not wholly help you. In fact, they may even make you feel worse.
A study found that positive affirmations of “I’m a lovable person” with people who have low self-esteem actually felt worse. This study confirms affirmations don’t work on those who need it most.
So, why don’t positive affirmations work for everyone?
For the simple reason that there is an inner conflict when we say something that doesn’t match our belief. So, how can we apply positive affirmations to work when it’s needed most?
As a child, another kid once told me that I needed to know the truth which was that I was ugly. Ever since that moment I questioned my looks. Even though I was a cheerleader in high school and had lots of dates and boyfriends, I felt I wasn’t pretty.
Fast forward to my college years… My roommate in college had us walk around the dormitory halls announcing at the top of our lungs “I am beautiful.” That was the very first time I even uttered those words. While we kept proclaiming this in the hallways, deep down, I had not truly believed that I was beautiful.
Saying I am beautiful just simply felt untrue. That first week, every time I said “I am beautiful”, my inner lie detector came out and contradicted me. This was because stating this did not correspond to my actual self-image.
And that’s the whole point… That just by saying positive affirmations cannot change one’s confidence overnight.
How to use affirmations that work?
From Small Truths to Big Truths:
I realized that while I had not believed that I was beautiful, I tried something else. A unique tool that I made up for myself and it worked. I created a tool called “from small truths to big truths.” I first said small positive affirmation statements that I did believe to be 100% true and then worked my way up to believing the bigger truths. In short, I went from affirmations of “I wasn’t ugly” to believing that “I was beautiful.”
I started slowly with the following personal example and worked my way up. Breaking down the affirmations. Here is an example of this tool that I personally used many years ago.
“That person has been wrong before and so maybe she was wrong when she said I was ugly.”
“I am NOT the ugliest person in the WORLD.”
“I am SEMI attractive when I make an EFFORT to look nice.”
“I look good when I put together a cute outfit.”
“I look pretty when I take care of myself.”
and then I dropped the “when” statements…
I am semi attractive.
I look good.
I look pretty.
And then I was able to make a higher leap/jump to…
I am attractive.
I am pretty.
I am beautiful.
While no one can skip from “I am ugly” to “I am beautiful,” the way to get to the affirmation that feels true especially when you are insecure or have self-doubt is to slowly help the mind make small shifts in its thinking… Help your mind wiggle its limiting beliefs and soon you will get there.
Develop a Magical mental attitude!!
Now that you know, answer these statements right or wrong… true or false:
- The life I lead matches my deepest aspirations.
- My attitudes and behaviors make me really happy.
- The events that I have to face are always opportunities.
- The decisions I make are in line with my inner self.
- My past doesn’t drive my daily choices.
- I am unique, I know my worth and the opinion of others does not affect me.
If you answered FALSE to any of these fundamental statements, then try the “small truths to big truths” tool. Try breaking down each affirmation and slowly work your way towards your truth of believing these affirmations. YOU WILL see and feel the change and shift.
If you are ready to take the next step in your growth, explore the personal growth coaching!
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