Dating during pandemic definitely can bring new challenges. Let’s take a look at 3 must-do’s to consider, as you’re dating in pandemic.
Life at home during a pandemic has challenged us in many ways, especially how to coexist 24/7 with our partners. Our living space is no longer where we retreat at the end of the day. Our home has shifted to our gym, park, movie theater and work space.
Let me ask you: When was the last time you went on a date with your partner (and I’m not talking about a quick kiss on the lips)? Now is the time to turn your home life to more of a romantic spa.
Believe it or not, many couples have discovered a silver lining to quarantine. This new life has provided an opportunity to grow as a person and as a couple.
Refresh your Romance
Dating involves creativity, spontaneity and an investment. Dating during a pandemic requires so much more. How you date today will determine how long you last as a couple in the future. A couple without dating is a couple who simply co-exist.
Sure, dating in the days of COVID is not always as easy as getting on the VIP club list or eating at the new hot restaurant. Instead, dating now focuses on staying home and connecting in creative ways. Dating during COVID is a second chance at getting reacquainted – a chance to renew on an emotional and spiritual level.
Learn to incorporate before, during and after steps into dating
It’s important to move from co-existing to existing with romance and here will be a few things to consider for that.
Before your date
The truth about dating is that a date actually begins before the date itself. Just as there is pleasure and enjoyment prior to a vacation, so too a date. Before a vacation, the excitement begins with booking the flight, deciding the itinerary and planning which items to pack. So too, there is something very sensual and fun about getting ready for a date. Confirming the date, discussing the activities and, of course, planning what to wear. When done well, the planning before the date is just as important as the date itself.
- Consider what you and your partner enjoy. Do you like movies, plays and concerts, or do you prefer food and restaurants? Convert your kitchen to be the best restaurant in town or “become” the new chef on the block. Play charades wearing lingerie and create your own script and scene. Whatever you decide, try to plan an at-home or socially distanced version of what you love to do together.
- Book your plans on your calendars and keep the date no matter what. If you often have a reason to cancel or postpone your date, then you are using that as an excuse to avoid each other. The problem isn’t your work schedule, the headache or the children. If you both do not focus on each other now, then you run the risk that there will not be “an other” in your future.
- Take turns planning dates instead of putting the responsibility on the same person. Remember to make the invitations flirty, sexy and fun. Surprise each other with a new genre of movies or activities. Instead of going to a laser show, create a show in your backyard. Take out your beach chairs and gaze at the stars from your backyard.
During your date
- Just like you used to get dolled up at the beginning of your courtship, looking your best sets the stage. Dress up for every date no matter if it’s a car drive or buying groceries. Whatever you wear, dress like you are on a date. Dressing the part can change the tone of the date and the mood.
- Be present and be “all in” for your date. It’s easy to get distracted when you’re working from home, have laundry or juggling texts… but commit to the date. Ask unique and inspiring questions. Look in each other’s eyes and not the phone. Unless of course, you are taking selfies with your partner or looking at old photos.
- Flirt, talk, touch… do all the things that make you feel more connected. I suggested that my husband and I have a hot date on a random Thursday for lunch. I told him to write “lunch date with hot wife” on his calendar. On my calendar, I wrote “ lunch date with my hot husband.”
- No news is good news. Many couples are having difficulty making new conversation. For couples who live together, this is even more true. So how can you talk about something different? Couples tend to talk about the same topics 80% of the time so commit to bringing fresh conversation. Go out of your norm and comfort zone. Consider a different podcast or read a unique blog and then share details during your date. Ask about the meaning of life or relationships and discuss your thoughts and notes. Tell a different childhood story. Play “If we were wealthy beyond dreams…” You get the picture. What can you do or say during your date so that you continue to want more of each other?
After your date
- Always always, schedule your next date before the date ends.
- Continue to build on the intimacy created during your date. For example, afterwards, share how you felt about your time together. Send flirtatious texts about what the date meant to you and why you are looking forward to your next date.
- Consider adding “spontaneous” dates as well. These dates can be as simple as eating lunch at the kitchen counter, dancing in the living room, or giving a back rub.
How to date in and out of your home?
Below are a few ideas of what dating can look like in and out of the home. The list includes ideas that are sweet, easy, romantic, and hopefully fun as well. You may even want to keep them in rotation after your hometown opens back up again.
In the home:
- Breakfast or dessert in bed together. Imagine what strawberries with whip cream can do when prepared together.
- Plan a dream vacation TOGETHER. Remember that the “before” is pleasurable.
- Read the same book or blog and discuss. Maybe even read this blog together as a way to talk more deeply about your relationship.
- Go online shopping together or shop together for each other.
- Take virtual classes together like cooking or painting or go to a virtual event. Airbnb Experiences offer fun options from around the world. https://www.airbnb.com/s/experiences/online?refinement_paths%5B%5D=%2Fexperiences&tab_id=experience_tab
Out of the home:
- Go for a car ride together. Take turns on who drives. You can even take it to another level by renting a fancy car.
- Turn your backyard or a nearby park into a stargazing center. Lay out a blanket, grab some grapes and brie with crackers, and look up.
- Time your date to catch two of nature’s best views – a sunrise or a sunset.
- Dance on your patio or driveway.
Love the one you’re with as we need each other.
While we all miss how life was before the pandemic, I encourage you to use these moments to your advantage. Find ways to strengthen your partnership through love, attention and play. After all, our partners are the ones who help us navigate our challenging times. Make sure that your actions show that you love your partner as both words and actions matter. Soon enough, your silver lining will have catapulted your relationship to a new level.
When you intentionally create a life that goes beyond coexisting to include romance, fun, and attention as part of your every day, you invest in your future.
Let me know how your dates go and if you want to exchange additional ideas for the list.
I am always here for you so let me know how I can support you with ideas in relationships — with yourself, others, and money.
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