It’s Saturday night. You have no plans. Again. You want to find love and be in healthy relationship and you’re starting to feel clueless why it’s not happening for you… Here will be some of the most popular dating questions answered!
Your married friends are going out with their husbands and your single friends are all on dates. Your choice: Visit family – or stay home alone and watch Netflix.
Saturday nights tend to be the hardest time for single ladies. Not having dates can lead to thoughts of self doubt, worry and feeling unworthy.
Here’s the truth: Your Saturdays can be a whole lot different, if you want them to be. You may be solo on Saturday night now, but you aren’t alone. In other words, it’s not that you can’t get a date, you have made the choice on whether to have a date or not. So, here is an interesting thought, it’s up to you to figure out why you have made a choice for being alone on a Saturday night. So now you are thinking what can you do to change that course, if you desire?
We do anything and everything to avoid getting hurt.
Staying home on a Saturday night is a way to prevent getting hurt since at least we know that we won’t hurt ourselves. The important insight here is that we won’t disappoint ourselves. It all boils down to you thinking… “I know what I like and I won’t get disappointed or rejected. Again.”
Most popular dating questions answered
Below are questions that I received from single clients about dating.
I chose to share their questions together with my answers. You don’t want to miss this next part.
How to enjoy my own company without feeling lonely?
Q: It’s the weekend and I want to go out but I don’t have a boyfriend and my friends are too busy with their partners. I could go alone – but wouldn’t I be a loser sitting at a restaurant table by myself?
A: Being alone when you want to be on a date stirs up a lot of feelings. Emotions are energy. Feeling sad, frustrated and lonely – these feelings keep you small and invisible. You want to live in high vibe energy as much as you can. I think you’ll agree with me when I say high vibe energy is magnetic and attractive. When a man sees a woman eating by herself, he knows that woman has true strength and confidence.
Q: I already love my own company. I love doing what I want to do and spend time the way I want. I can guarantee a great Saturday night when I’m by myself. But you guessed it, I would like to date. How do I then find someone who loves spending time the exact same way that I do?
A: If you prefer your own company and don’t want to change how you spend your time, you’re not making room for another person. Remember, that loving yourself too much is oftentimes not loving yourself enough.
How to live with envy?
Q: I’m envious of my married friends. They have their happily ever after – a great husband, children, a beautiful home and more. I wish that was me. I don’t know why I’m still single. What am I doing wrong? Why can’t their life be mine now?
A: Interestingly, divorce rates are increasing around the world. Your perception that your friends’ lives are perfect is likely not 100% true. Here is why that’s important… It’s better to be single and wish you were married than to be married and wish you were single. So, for now, enjoy everything there is about being single.
Q: Is it better to be alone on a Saturday night or go out with the wrong guy?
A: Avoiding being home on a Saturday night is not an excuse to toy with someone’s emotions. Don’t expect a guy to save you from being bored, being alone with your thoughts, or worry if he is going to disappoint you.
Here are a few general questions to consider when looking to date:
If you are seeking happily ever after, ask yourself, are you using the right dating skills to get there? Dating is different than getting along with friends.
- Are you clear about the kind of person you want to date?
- Do you know what you offer your date? Rather than focus on what your date can do for you?
- Do you want to hang out with someone because you don’t feel lonely or do you want to date someone for other reasons?
- By not dating, are you protecting yourself from the risk of rejection that might come with dating? If yes, what is that about? Where do you think that came from?
When you have had lots of dates or relationships that broke your heart, it’s natural to retreat to yourself. You want to regroup and realign with who you are, what you love about yourself, and who you want to spend more time.
The best part of being alone on a Saturday night is falling in love with yourself. This is a chance to feel confident in who you are – flaws and all. If YOU haven’t made peace with your dark side and weaknesses- then, you guessed it, that’s all your date will see and notice.
Here is the bottom line, dating is an opportunity to discover new people and more about yourself. We all need to feel confident enough to show up as who we truly are.
Make Saturday night your favorite time of the week
So, what can you do to feel happy when you are alone? There are three suggested answers:
- You need to change your mindset about what it means to be alone. If YOU don’t want to spend quality time with yourself, then why would anyone else?
- Be your own date. Dress up for yourself and go to that restaurant. Choose a favorite venue, connect with the room, and bring reading material. Love your time with yourself. You will send a message that says, “I am alone. I love my own company. I’m a great person.” I’m sure you will agree that your energy will vibrate and you will see that others notice your energy. In fact, they will want more of your magnetic energy. After all, you already know that confidence is contagious.
- Change your mindset about Saturday night. If you are busy during the week, staying home on a Saturday night may be exactly all you want or have energy to do.
I recommend that each of my clients follow a checklist as a prerequisite to dating… a checklist to complete alone. We are never alone for when you love your own company, then you are never lonely on a Saturday night.
Your single life is actually in your court. The ball is always in your court.
You’ve probably noticed a theme throughout these answers to frequently asked questions from clients. So much of successful dating relies on you and the work you put into changing your mindset and skills. Your future Saturday nights will look a whole lot different if and when YOU want them to be better.
I am always here for you so let me know how I can support your relationships — with yourself, your partner and family.
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